“What are you making, Mom?” I would ask as my mother stirred up something in the kitchen.
“Layovers to catch little meddlers,” my mother would say with a mischievous grin. It was something of a game, a secret withheld, of no real consequence.
Perhaps, all these years later, I was motivated to explore this phrase during some moments of missing my mother.
While the term has been used over the years to evade children’s questions, I learned from the Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs that it derives from “lareovers,” a contraction of sorts from “laid overs.” In the days when people travelled by carriages and wagons, they often wanted to conceal what they were carrying from the prying eyes of those who might be inclined to pilfer their belongings. They would lay a blanket or other covering over their goods in an effort to deter “meddlers.” Thus the phrase evolved over years to become standard fare for parents to respond to their inquisitive children,
When my mother would use those words, she was often whipping up a batch of fudge, or a cake or some kind of treat. I smile thinking of her, relaxing on the couch, reading the newspaper, with nothing apparent on her mind. Suddenly she would jump up and go to the kitchen. In short order, I would hear her mixing ingredients, likely for something chocolate and gooey.
“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain,” wrote Lois Lowry. “It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”
Once following a family member’s funeral, we gathered around our dining table, partaking in the tray of sandwiches and sweets that had been brought for us. Sharing memories engendered both tears and laughter and provided a healing balm As a pastor, I have presided over many memorial services where friends and family offered stories, some funny, some deeply moving. We are meant to share our stories. They heal us and uplift us. More on this in an upcoming blog.
May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate
Hope’s Café Bonus: Remember to make good memories every day. They are like a mental scrapbook you can review at any time.
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