Glimmers

Think of a rainbow….perhaps the sound of a gentle rain as you go to sleep….a beautiful sunrise or sunset…a good cup of tea or coffee….your dog’s joyous greeting on your return….kittens playing…..a loved one’s smile…..

  A glimmer is a kind of clue, whether internal or external, that brings one back to a sense of joy or safety.  The opposite of a trigger, which can bring on anxiety, glimmers provide calm.  The concept was first introduced in 1995 by Stephen Porges as part of Polyvagal theory.  This theory describes how our autonomic system is searching for and reading cues to determine if they are dangerous.  However, the term came into use more recently, first by Deb Dana, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, in her book* in 2018 and later by a viral TikTok video.*

Even just recalling those moments of glimmers brings me joy.  When our grandson Sebastian was on the verge or learning to walk, Terry and I were helping with childcare while his parents worked.  If we weren’t quick enough on getting to his morning walk, he would maneuver himself over to the stroller till we would take the hint.  Then, strapped into the stroller, he would vigorously kick his legs with joy.  I have a little video of that which brings a glimmer, but even thinking about it makes me smile.

On one of those strolls, a dog knocked me down unconscious on the asphalt, resulting in my being overnight in the hospital with eight stitches in my head.  I had terrible vertigo and an infection in my leg where the dog’s leash had ripped off some of my skin.  I, who had always loved dogs, was then triggered by the site of a dog or by driving by the park where the incident occurred.  I had to actively work to overcome those fearful sensations.  My experience has been that something that was a glimmer can become a trigger, but also a trigger can be managed or overcome.  I now can see dogs without fear being triggered and in fact can experience “dog glimmers”!

Look for the glimmers….life offers us so many opportunities not only to see them but to reap the rewards physically and emotionally.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate 

*Hope’s Café Bonus:  Deb Dana’s book is The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy:  Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation.  The TikTok video was posted in February 2022 by psychologist Dr. Justine Grosso.