Empathy

Consider this:  in India, a dog was seen being chased by a pack of wild dogs.  The dog jumped in the river right into a pile of crocodiles.  Amazingly, three crocodiles (crocodiles!) put their snouts together and nudged the dog gently to the safety of the other shore.  Researchers speculated that they were not hungry at the time but also that there is some not-well-understood aspect of empathy that can be activated within animals for other animals in distress.  There are many stories that demonstrate this but the one of the crocodiles is astounding. 

Empathy and sympathy are both ways we respond to the suffering of people around us. But there’s a crucial difference: Sympathy is acknowledging someone else’s pain, but empathy is choosing to feel the pain with them. Sympathy says, “I care about you,” and empathy says, “I’m hurting with you.” 

Perhaps you saw the story on the news of the two boys who struggled on together after the death of their grandmother who had been raising them.  The older one whose plan had been to enter college, was managing their life as best he could when a storm severely damaged the house left to them by their grandmother.  A contractor agreed to repair it but took their money and then skipped out on them, leaving them in an uninhabitable house and penniless.  They became homeless until some volunteers learned of their plight and restored a home for them.  Then a fund was established for them and the grandson who had had to forego college in order to earn a living for them, was offered a scholarship and has started his college education.

How did a contractor take all the money from two bereaved children, ultimately leaving them homeless?  How did a group of volunteers feel compelled to see that these two young people had a home and a means for a future?  How do we cultivate empathy within ourselves and within our culture so that more people reach out and fewer people see others as simply objects to manipulate?

These suggestions come from lightenthedark.com:

1. Practice active listening. Give your full attention to the person speaking, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in what they’re saying. This helps create a safe space for them to express themselves¹.
2. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand the other person’s perspective and imagine how they might be feeling. This can help you empathize with their experiences and respond with kindness¹.
3. Practice random acts of kindness. Small gestures like holding the door open for someone, offering a compliment, or helping someone in need can make a big difference in someone’s day¹.
4. Be patient and non-judgmental. Everyone has their own struggles and challenges. Instead of judging or criticizing others, try to be patient and understanding¹.
5. Express gratitude. Show appreciation for the people in your life and let them know you value them. A simple “thank you” or a heartfelt note can go a long way in making someone feel seen and appreciated¹.
6. Volunteer your time. Find opportunities to give back to your community or support causes that are important to you. Volunteering can help you connect with others and make a positive impact¹.

If even crocodiles have it within them to occasionally help a dog in distress, surely even the worst of us, or the best of us on our worst days, can behave with compassion and empathy towards our fellow humans.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate 

Hope’s Café Bonus: “Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” Mohsin Hamid