Follow Up

A week after I responded to the fellow in my last post with food cards, I received another call from him.  In this case, he was crying hysterically, as he babbled about a flat tire.  I didn’t entirely grasp at the time how vulnerable he was feeling.  But in that moment, I felt great tenderness, unlike the previous week when I had experienced some irritation. 

His van was his only home, a thin shell to protect him from the outer world.  As kindly but as firmly as I could I said, “Calm down,_____” calling him by name.  “We can help you get a tire.”  He did calm down as I explained it was too late to acquire a tire right that minute but we could manage that the following day.  He was able to relate the type of tire he needed and that he had $50 towards paying for it, but not sufficient to pay the full cost.  I told him I would call him back once I worked out getting the tire.  He seemed settled and we hung up.

Later that evening I missed another call from him.  When I listened to the voicemail, what I was hearing was a conversation between him and the police.  I suspect at some point he had become upset again and other campers called the police.   Once again, he was hysterical.  As he begged not to be put out on the street, the policeman gently repeated they were there to help him.  The recording, whether intentional or accidental, let me know he would not be there the next day.  The police department would reveal nothing to me about his whereabouts.  I understand confidentiality.  But, determined to find out what happened, I turned to my “spy” friend, one who knows all the back channels when needed.  I don’t know how she finally gleaned the information, but she discovered he had been placed in a psychiatric facility.

 I have had no further report.  But the experience lingers with me.  Despite my limited ability to impact the situation, I value the shift in my response and a deepened understanding of how vulnerable homeless folks and others on the margins must feel. (I would add that “unhoused” hardly seems a fair description, even if it is presently considered more acceptable).

The author and speaker John O’Donohue has said, “An interesting question to ask yourself at night is, ‘What did I really see this day?’” It was a gift to me to really see my homeless friend that day.

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate