Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe
Edmund Burke argued that culture, which he called “manners,” is more important than politics. Manners, he wrote, “are of more importance than laws. Upon them, in great measure, the laws depend…Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like the air that we breathe in. They give their whole form and color to our lives. According to their quality, they aid morals, or supply them, or they totally destroy them.”
David Brooks, in his farewell column at the New York Times, sadly reported, “We have become a sadder, meaner and more pessimistic country. One recent historical study of American newspapers finds that public discourse is more negative now than at any time since 1850.”
I saw on Facebook where someone responded to his column disputing that America was lacking moral clarity. That person was a minister who had just come from Minneapolis, where the presence and behavior of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), has been opposed by many and protests have been continual. The minister felt strongly that “The people there are not morally adrift or nihilistic or any of the things Brooks describes. They are working together across every kind of difference and even risking their lives together based on the simple proposition that one should care for one’s neighbor.”
While the minister has a point, it seems quite apparent that we are experiencing a change in speech and behavior that is less disciplined, more hostile. Who would have ever imagined, for example, people attacking other passengers, even the flight attendants, on planes? Or students bullying other students to the point of their victims committing suicide?
Brooks says our “most grievous cultural wound is the loss of a shared moral order.” But he expresses hope as well, writing: “Despite what the cynics say, I still believe we we’re driven not only by the selfish motivations but also by the moral ones—the desire to pursue some good, the desire to cooperate, to care for one another and to belong.”
It is up to each of us to demonstrate the truth of that last statement. As Emily Post once said, “Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.”
The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.
May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate
Hope's Cafe 