Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe
Years ago I read Robert Bly’s The Sibling Society in which Bly asked “Where have all the grownups gone?” Adults have regressed into adolescence, Bly wrote, and adolescents refuse to grow up.
Has maturity gone out of style I wonder? What is it that inclines us toward resisting the acceptance of responsibility and accountability?
At the risk of losing some credibility, I admit turning to “Mr. Google.” However, what I found seems worth sharing. The feedback included that there is no reason to pathologize this. Resisting growing up has certain benefits, allows a person a shield against vulnerabilty, against fear of failure and to maintain a childlike stance in hopes of getting needs fulfilled that were never provided. An extreme example is a child I knew who kept herself functioning as a toddler in hopes that she could somehow get back to her mother, who had died when she was two. We also have to be aware that we can present adulthood as stressful, joyless. Why would anyone want to enter into adulthood under those circumstances?
My favorite point that Microsoft Copilot offered, though, was this: “The goal isn’t to ‘kill’ the childlike parts—it’s to integrate them so they don’t run the whole show.”
We also have the opposite end of the spectrum: the folks who “imprison” themselves with their perceived “maturity.” They simply don’t find it possible to allow themselvesi to stop working, to relax, to play, to rest.
I began this blog with the intent to encourage balance in our lives. An important balance is between the responsibilities we carry and the freedom to be playful, childlike without either behaviors “running the whole show.” As Dolly Parton has said, “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.
May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate
Hope's Cafe 