Author: katecafehope

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

Years ago, when I was the highest ranking person in the agency for whom I worked, the director position being vacant, I was put in charge of making the daily deposits. I looked forward to this task because the teller I could usually manage to get at the bank was the most serene, calming presence I had ever encountered. My mother worked in banking for decades. I know it was not necesssarily the easiest, most peaceful atmosphere. But this woman was positively beatific. She radiated peace. Standing there doing business did not seem like an appropriate time to engage in a conversation about her serenity. Truthfully, I became rather tongue-tied, so in awe I was. But I have thought of her so many times through the years.

Lately, I have found serenity hard to come by. Nights especially are awfully painful as my body seeks to heal from a quite extensive back surgery. Sometimes I read till I’m so exhausted that I sleep. Sometimes I go through all the French I can remember. Other times, I pull up all the scriptures I can recall and recite them in my head. I wish I had learned more poetry over the years. The one thing that brings me close to something resembling serenity is when I hold the wooden cross my now deceased brother and my sister-in-law gave me for my ordination. I become aware of so much beyond myself. I begin to pray for others whose needs I am aware of . I pray for others suffering pain and sleeplessness. I pray for healing and wholeness for them and for myself.

As much as I appreciated (and, yes, envied) the bank teller her peaceful presence, perhaps a more useful approach, is to pay more attention to the moments when we expand our awareness, as I have been able to do through prayer in the midst of pain. Suddenly my world is no longer about my pain alone, but I am connected to others, both known and unknown to me. And I think of other times when I simply am captured with awe by an unexpected gift of awareness. Nature is full of those.

Once I was driving home at dusk and a mama skunk and her babies were crossing the highway. With cars in both directions she placed herself vertically on the dividing line on the highway and gathered her babies underneath her body. I was transfixed, connected suddenly to these little lives. I sat there as did the car opposite me and we waited for her to safely cross with her little family. A few years ago, my husband and I sat with our grandsons on the balcony of their family’s apartment, watching the evening turn towards night, stars and planets beginning to show themselves. Young as they were, the boys could name all the planets and talked about the sky and what intrigued them. I felt so peaceful, so connected to them but also to all that is greater than ourselves.

P.S. I am still considering the future of the blog, wondering about a “vlog,” videoing a weekly piece or some combination. Right now, I’m focused on my recovery so decision-making is on hold!

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

Young Tess and her husband moved to the D.C. area and sought out friendships and community ties.  As they settled in, they discovered many kindred souls.They shared in play readings, music nights, book discussions.  In their circles there were families offering various services:  one taught how to make victory gardens; another operated a nonprofit daycare for children with disabilities; one developed a listserv for babysitting swaps, meal trains, last minute grocery trips; a highschooler and a college student in the neighborhood organized an all-girl cast for The Taming of the Shrew performed on their front porch. 

Into this rich mix, Tess suggested they should have a neighborhood folk dance night.  Guess what? There already was one!  Postman Pledge was already “in full swing” so to speak.  This group had been formed in response to the proliferation of cell phones for children.  “The families of the Postman Pledge commit to building community bonds while also intentionally limiting their families’ use of digital technology – in particular, children don’t have smartphones or access to social media. And the whole family is expected to practice thoughtful limits for the sake of cultivating ‘habits of presence and attention’ in order to grow in the love of God and others,” enjoying the many aspects of life available outside of technology. (Plough Quarterly, April 7, 2025, “Dancing With Neighbors”)

As I have prepared for surgery, I am so very aware of community, of all the people who have offered encouragement, support. I feel tearful even as I am writing this, knowing how valuable this is for Terry’s and my wellbeing in the coming weeks.  What is life about if not to be there for one another, celebrating the good times, working through the hard times in a network of love?

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

In November 2022 I wrote a blog about neighbors, including memories of the small town I grew up in in Oklahoma and my experience of moving to an even smaller town in Montana in 2021.  I have had reason to think on this topic again since we moved back to Tennessee. 

Having easily adapted to Columbus, MT, and coming to love being in a neighborhood after decades of living in a secluded home in the woods on a farm in the midst of other farms, I was not sure how I would feel coming to Harrison, TN, bedroom community to Chattanooga.  Then a week or two after we moved in, the next door neighbor came to bring me some strawberry jam (coincidentally sold from the farm we sold). I visited with the neighbor and her husband and learned the husband looks out for the neighborhood, taking trash to the curb for the elderly widows or checking on folks to make sure if they need anything.  Other neighbors have stopped by to deliver me mail that was mistakenly left in their box.   

The most recent episode of neighborliness came at the post office itself. The employee at the small post office about two miles from our home brought out the big postal box required to hold all our mail after a lengthy trip.  I said I would carry it out in two bundles as I am due to have back surgery soon.  He just picked up the box and carried it out to the car. 

In all the places I have lived over the years, no two have been alike.  Neighbors are the one commonality and can give the sense of small town living even in much larger cities.  I must agree with Robert Fulghum: “Good neighbors make a huge difference in the quality of life.”

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

When you read this, I will be on a ship far, far away (South Pacific to be specific!) I may be able to post while I’m gone but I’m doubtful. Almost certainly there will be things I will want to post about. Though I haven’t taken my computer, I do have my journal that I can draw from on my return. However, my blogging may be erratic because I expect to be having back surgery on my return.

Just before leaving, I read my friend Mary’s blog (Zippy Quilts) where she described a quilting class she took that in part involved being clear about one’s goals. My initial goal with this blog was just to insure I was writing something regularly and in the process to share something uplifting or at least of some interest. Periodically I evaluate if I am accomplishing what I set out to do and if I want to alter or expand what I’m doing in some way or to change course. This trip seems to offer the opportunity to step back, reflect and consider the alternatives.

I will check back in at Kate’s Hope Cafe when I return and we will see where my reflections have led me!

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

I just wrote probably the longest blog I have ever written. Had copied document to post it and whatever I hit erased the entire thing! It is 10:30, late to reinvent it. Perhaps I will try again to create it soon. I feel pretty defeated by my computer at the moment!

Peace, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

“Drifting,” a term used to describe “a special form of attention where we are engaged with the world around us but not focused on getting something done” occurs when our brains enter a semi-meditative state when we are near water.  (How does this differ from “daydreaming?” Stay tuned for next week’s blog!) 

I recall some years ago reading that taking a shower tended to improve creativity and generate ideas.  “Blue mind,” another term like drifting, refers to the theory that water in the ocean, rivers, lakes and even baths can make us feel calmer, increase wellbeing and boost creativity, as described in a Blue Cross/Blue Shield online newsletter.  The author of the article “What is Blue Mind Theory?” states that water increases the neurotransmitters dopamine (“the feel good hormone”); serotonin (“the happiness hormone”); and oxytocin (“the cuddle hormone”); and decreases cortisol, the hormone related to stress.

The author further states swimming can have an effect similar to doing yoga; taking a bath levels out the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems; observing an aquarium for at least 10 minutes can significantly lower blood pressure and heart rate; even drinking a glass of water can decrease anxiety and fatigue.  Years ago I read that under stress our bodies produce a thick, paste-like blood and we are in special need of water then. 

 
It seems we are drawn to water. The website blueminding quotes marine biologist Dr. Wallace Nichols that: “We are drawn to water, because we come from, and are still largely made of water.  In fact, the human body is about 60 percent water, and the brain is 75 percent water.”
“When you see water, when you hear water, it triggers a response in your brain that you’re in the right place.”

So if you find yourself “drifting”/”blueminding,” consider the positive benefits you are likely gaining! 

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

When I was in high school, my father told me he had a story he had thought of writing.  Perhaps my taking journalism and writing a lot of stories for the school newspaper brought on his sharing that with me.  I don’t recall that he told me a lot of details. I remember his tale’s setting was in pioneer times. I was impressed enough that I bought him a “Nothing Book” filled with blank pages and suggested he write his story in there.  There is some irony to that gift.  My father was a linotype operator on the local newspaper and could easily have typed his creation. 

Some years passed.  Out of college and employed, I was home on a visit.  I noticed his Nothing Book on a  shelf.  Curious, I picked it up. It was totally devoid of any writing.  Not. The. First. Word.  Not even a scribble.  I was surprised and so disappointed.  I said “Daddy, tell me your story.  Let me write it.”  In the saddest voice, he said, “I don’t remember it anymore.”  I was stunned.  He sounded so resigned.   What happened in those intervening years that he felt so disconnected from his wish to write his story?  Somehow, the subject seemed closed, and I didn’t pursue it.  Only mid-fifties at the time, he was much too young  let a dream die!

I write this to remind us all to pay attention to stories:  those of relatives who harbor history we will never know if we aren’t listening, asking questions, taking note. They hold the power to enrich us.  Pay attention to our own experiences and opportunities to voice them, write them, share them.  We hold that same power to enrich others.

 The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

Eckhart Tolle recounts a dramatic story of encountering a man at Cambridge University in 1970 who was confined to a wheelchair. Tolle described him as having eyes that were clear. “There was no trace of unhappiness.  I knew immediately he had relinquished resistance; he was living in surrender.” Years later he saw the man’s face on the front of a magazine.  And that man was: Stephen Hawking, one of the world’s most famous theoretical physicists.  With the help of a synthesizer, Hawkings was quoted in the magazine article as saying of his life, “Who could have asked for more?”

Eckhart Tolle you may recall wrote The Power of Now, published in 1997. By 2009 more than three million copies had been sold.  The best description of his focus on living in the present moment in my opinion is his statement that “Instead of creating expectations of what should or should not be happening, cooperate with the form that this moment takes.” There are so many times we experience physical or emotional pain and our “go to” solution is to imagine being past this moment when the pain will be history. Perhaps that helps us for the worst of the moment but there is another path.

One focus I had as a therapist was working with stress and health related issues.  Never having been a cancer patient myself, I support whatever helps cancer patients deal with their disease.  But I recall that there was a philosophy promoted about imagining one’s body marshaling an army to fight the cancer.  I always thought if I were in that position, I would want to visualize gathering my body’s resources to assist my body in healing, cooperating with my body to allow healing, acting as a “concerned friend” to my body instead of a hostile warrior against the disease.   I had one client who took his chemotherapy pills, said a prayer and crossed himself.  I did not see him throughout that process, as he came in with his wife and their focus was how they could best cope with the impacts on their marriage.  Perhaps he survived. In any case, he found a way to be in the present moment, blessing his pills as he took them.

I close with one more Tolle quote: “Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is deeper than any form and untouched by time.”

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate