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Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

The Cloud of Unknowing was an assigned book when I was in the Shalem Program for Spiritual Guidance. I recall at the time that the title seemed an enigma, the concept puzzling. In hindsight, I realize I have been in that cloud any number of times.

This week I encountered the quote: “Honor the space between ‘no longer’ and ‘not yet.'” More often I am inclined to resent and resist that space. Honoring such a time would be a much more beneficial approach. While this time of recovery from extensive back surgery offers me lots of time to meditate on what might come next or even just to relax into the present moment—what a thought!—I have too often just been frustrated by it. So this blog serves to challenge me to alter my attitude!

I have stayed stranded between worlds right now, still coming to terms with having given up my pastorate, searching for what draws me, lends meaning, fulfills some outlet. I recalled this week an interchange with a client back in my therapist days. She had moved several states away and we were accomplishing therapy by phone. In response to her frustration with a decision she couldn’t find clarity about, I asked if there was some favorite place in her apartment. She described a spot she especially enjoyed, in which she felt more peaceful. I encouraged her to spend some time in that spot. She did and later reported she had found that helpful. I myself have been discovering that when I sit on my front porch in the mornings, bit by bit, I am beginning to feel some sense of peace and faint bits for consideration.

There is a poem I wrote in 2002, five years before my entrance into the Shalem program. I titled it “Rumblings” but it could have been subtitled “The Cloud of Unknowing.” It too was an enigma to me at the time when it was not at all clear to me where that poem came from within me. I was clueless why I would have written it or what it meant.

Rumblings

                                                There are rumblings in my soul.

                                                The earth cracks open:

                                                Lava spills out

                                                Across the landscape of my life,

                                                Warming me/burning me.

                                                There are rumblings in my soul.

                                                The earth cradles me,

                                                Even as it shifts,

                                                Moving me in some direction

                                                I strain to perceive.

                                                There are rumblings in my soul.

                                                The earth propels me:

                                                Whether I stumble or find sure footing,

                                                I am sustained.

                                                There are rumblings in my soul:

                                                Prophets of the earth,

                                                Foretelling change to come,

                                                Change erupting even now,

                                                Gift of the universe.

                                                            —-Kate Stulce

                                                            Written October 2002

                                                            Sante Fe, New Mexico*

                                    * Descriptive of the spiritual journey I have experienced,

                                    which was only beginning to evolve when I wrote this poem.

If you are in any “betwixt and between” time, I hope you will take the opportunity to honor it.

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

A lot of mornings I wake up with some random song running through my head. Today it was “Climb Every Mountain,” a song of encouragement flowing from the lips of Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music,” urging us on to “follow every rainbow….till you find your dream.” Clearly, we might have to climb mountains and ford streams to reach that dream, as the words intone.

John Muir, also known as “John of the Mountains” and “The Father of National Parks,” the founder of the Sierra Club, had just such a journey. Muir was born in Scotland and emigrated from there with his family when he was 11. He was always drawn to nature. His rather restless spirit got him into conflict with his very strict fundamentalist father. While he rejected his childhood teachings of a formidable God, he remained characterized by an understanding of nature as “the true sanctuary of God.” He called all of nature “Godful.”

As an adult, Muir faced an immense challenge that influenced the course he took in life. In 1866,when he was working in a wagon wheel factory, a tool he was using slipped and hit him in the eye, impacting his vision. His other eye also deteriorated. He was kept in total darkness for six weeks in hopes of restoring the vision, which was forever impaired, though he was not left blind. He did some soul searching and concluded that he would radically alter his life’s direction.

The next year he set out walking a thousand miles from Kentucky down to Florida, arriving at Cedar Key, FL., where he secured employment with a Richard Hodgson, working at the Hodgson sawmill. However, after only three days he contracted a form of malaria, was in a state of delirium for nearly three months and nearly died. He recognized when he recovered that the care he had received from Hodgson and his wife during this time had saved his life.

One evening sitting on the Hodgsons’ roof watching the sunset, he saw a ship, the Island Belle, and learned it was soon to sail for Cuba. He purchased passage on it, heading to Havanna, where he studied shells and flowers and visited the city’s botanical gardens. Eventually he would make his way to California, settling in San Francisco. He worked for a time in Yosemite where he did indeed climb mountains, including Cathedral Peak and Mount Dana. He built a cabin near Yosemite Creek, designed such that a section of the creek ran through a corner of the cabin so that he could always hear running water. In his bookFirst Summer in the Sierra he wrote about his experiences there.

I recognize that learning about Muir has had special meaning to me as our country faces a time when public lands are threatened. This was true in Muir’s time, motivating him to fight to save areas for national forests. As he wrote: “Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home, that wilderness is a necessity.” Now more than ever we need the sustenance of nature. May the life and work of Muir challenge us to work on the behalf of our public lands and for our Mother Earth.

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

First of all, just a shoutout to the good folks at PCPI Computer store who got me back online with wordpress after I was suddenly locked out. ( They didn’t even charge me!  Asked me just to spread the word so I am).   I almost gave up, considered if this was a sign to shut down the blog.  But I realize I still count on it to keep me writing with some regularity and hopefully offering something of value to others at least from time to time.  I was surprised when I realized I had actually only missed one week’s blog.  So here I am back at it!

In reading over the last blog before the lockout, I see that this blog is something of a part two.  I think of discouragement as a crossroads where one can choose to give in to despair often leading to depression or to find some means to act to challenge the despair.  This week offered me a good example of that.  WordPress doesn’t offer a good way I could find to address being locked out.  I was indeed discouraged.  I considered just canceling my subscription before they charge me again in October.  However, the irony was I couldn’t find any way on WordPress to cancel a subscription for an account I couldn’t access!

Relying on the referral of our daughter and son in law to their “computer guy” (At PCPI), I found my way to the store and threw myself on the mercy of a very patient man, who not only got me back on my wordpress site, but also got me back online with BC/BS and confirmed my current contact numbers with Google.  The lesson here is to get help when you need it.  If you are discouraged, drifting—or tumbling—towards depression, ask for help. So often we think we can handle things on our own.  Often we can.  But there are those times when we really must seek help.   At the very least we can make things so much easier on ourselves when we do.

Following my father’s death, I was really crashing.  But, hey, I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and also assisting in pastoral duties! I can do this!  I’ll never forget my kind pastor pointing out that my body language was like that of the painting of “The Scream.”  When he pointed that out, I was immediately aware it indeed was.  He strongly urged me to get a therapist.  I worked with a bereavement counselor and saw my doctor for meds.  I began to recover.

Our world today certainly lends itself to discouragement and development of depression and anxiety.  I cannot affirm enough that keeping oneself centered through meditation, nature, a good support system, music, and other means that keep you grounded, are invaluable.

I leave you with these thoughts:

“There is hope even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” — John Green.

“If there is hope in the future, there is literally power in the present.” — Zig Ziglar

“Hope is being able to see there is light in spite of the darkness.”—Fity.Club

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

I am locked out of my WordPress account. I don’t know when this will be corrected. I will get back to you folks when I am able.😊

Before I ever was pursuing ordination, I first explored being commissioned as a spiritual director. Because I am a bit quirky, in my own estimation, and perhaps that of many others, I didn’t quite look especially “commissionable” to some on the committee. Our interim pastor at the time reported a conversation she had had with one of the committee members who asked her, ” Do you think Kate is scattered?” My pastor, bless her, said, “I’ve never known a spiritual director who wasn’t because they keep all their channels open. If I ever need to know anything about what is going on within the church, I turn to Kate, who has her finger on the pulse.”

A niece of mine often posts that she is weird or quirky. Good! Join the club! The world is better for those who can live authentically. So live your “weirdness.” Not everyone is so blessed.

One of my tasks when I was in the ministry course that did in fact lead to my ordination, was to put together a portfolio. In one section, I used the following quote:

“HERE’S TO THE CRAZY ONES.  THE MISFITS.  THE REBELS.  THE TROUBLEMAKERS.  THE ROUND PEGS IN SQUARE HOLES.  THE ONES WHO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  THEY’RE NOT FOND OF RULES.  AND THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE STATUS QUO.  YOU CAN QUOTE THEM, DISAGREE WITH THEM, GLORIFY OR VILIFY THEM.  ABOUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN’T DO IS IGNORE THEM.  BECAUSE THEY CHANGE THINGS.  THEY PUSH THE HUMAN FORCES.  AND WHILE SOME MAY SEE THEM AS THE CRAZY ONES, WE SEE GENIUS.  BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, ARE THE ONES WHO DO.”—APPLE INC.

I complained a lot about hoops (more than I care to remember) that I jumped through to reach ordination. But I also have some compassion for the folks who were charged with considering my fitness for ministry. I could hardly blame them that they found me a mystery, or perhaps, more of a problem child. I even joked with my mentor that the song in “The Sound of Music” described my relationship with my committee: “How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertigibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!”

So here’s to all those who by their nature live “outside the box,” who seek to live their authentic selves.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

John Prine, a favorite musician of ours, who died well before his time in the covid pandemic, told the story of being approached at a performance,  asked to play “It’s a Happy Enchilada.”  He didn’t recognize that as anything he had ever written or sung so he asked her to sing the tune.  When she did, he realized the line she was quoting was actually “It’s a half an inch of water and you think you’re going to drown” from the song “That’s the Way That the World Goes ‘Round.” 

Of late am in despair for the world.  Even as I live in comfort, I recognize how many do not…and how many more will not as more and more resources are eliminated, how systems we have relied on are diminished or destroyed.   I fret that I am not doing enough. I know that I’m not.  I chastise myself that I’m living like “It’s a Happy Enchilada” and “That’s the Way that the World Goes ‘Round.”

  My mother and father married in 1938 as things were heating up in Europe.  I wish now I had had more conversations with them about that era.   My mother had my brother Eddy in 1939.  She was a young mother in a marriage that was new.  I think how frightening those times must have been.  I remember that after the United States became involved, she was very concerned about her brother who was serving in the Coast Guard. She talked about rationing that was policy and how people learned to adapt.  But mostly I remember Eddy recalling how when there were “blackouts” at night, she would pop popcorn and make an adventure of it to minimize the impact on him. 

There seems to be a message in my mother’s behavior.  In the face of difficult, even desperate, times, we can be present to others, practical in our responses, creative in our adaptations.  When there is so much we can not affect, we have the capacity to focus on what we can.  This doesn’t necessarily eliminate dissonance but goes a long way towards managing it. 

Periodically I return to a book I stumbled across at some point called Pocket Peace.  The author reminds us “…there are times you can help and times you can’t.  Remember just feeling bad helps no one.”  He also suggests that we practice the mantra “Only I can destroy my peace and I choose not to.”

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

As I write this on this our thirty-sixth anniversary, I think back on this quirky, amazing, sometimes rocky journey, we have been on together.  And I consider how difficulties can seem so distant and definitely surmountable when one is young and in love.  But to “plight” or “pledge” one’s “troth” (derived from the word “truth”), is a deep, lifelong commitment to riding out all the unforeseen events a lifetime can hold.

According to the site shunbridal.com, “The word “plight” here means “pledge”, and it signifies putting someone or something under risk. It is related to the words “plea”, “pledge”, and “please”. The speaker is declaring their willingness to take on risk and responsibility.

I can’t say that we have navigated every difficulty well.  Yet some of the toughest challenges we faced turned out to be the times when we pulled together the most effectively, truly operated as partners.

I know there are marriages that simply weren’t meant to happen in the first place, or evolve in such a way as to be unsustainable, and seem destined for the relationship graveyard.  But there is a lot to be said for persisting through the hardships a long-term relationship is bound to encounter.  Terry is still the person who makes me laugh the hardest—humor being a relationship essential in my estimation—and we both agree we are better people for having been married to each other.  As we face aging, the challenges increase pretty dramatically.  Yet the years of building a solid foundation seem to benefit us at this stage in our lives.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

Once as a junior high friend’s mother was driving my friend and me to a Saturday movie, her car began to make a terrible knocking noise.  My immediate reaction was to start thinking “What is the problem?  Is it expensive to fix?  Will we be able to make it to our movie?”  Had my mother been driving I can imagine the pinched worried expression that would have appeared on her face.  My friend’s mother simply smiled and said “Well, isn’t this interesting?”  I was stunned.  She just calmly drove to a nearby auto mechanic business.  I have no idea whether we made it to the movie or not.  I suspect we did.  But what has stayed with me was that calm, unperturbed response of my friend’s mother. 

Sometimes in the night I wake to find myself feeling the heartbreak of the world and a sense of despair sweeping over me.  I think of Wendell Berry’s  poem “The Peace of Wild Things” (“When despair of the world grows in me/and I wake at the least sound/in fear of what my life and my children’s lives/might be”).  There is so much beyond my control.  Berry’s solution is to ground himself in nature, which surely is one way to renew ourselves, to maintain our equilibrium.  There are other ways to take care of ourselves.  We all know them but it never hurts to be reminded:  hydrate, seek to eat nutritious foods, meditate, exercise, promote good sleep habits, and look for those things that you can do in your own life circumstances.  Find what energizes you, a charitable organization you can offer your services or donate to; practice random acts of kindness; seek the means that empower you. 

The alternative is less than desirable.  While there is plenty to keep us awake at night, we have the choice not to allow the worry to be in the driver’s seat.  The potential consequences of permitting anxiety to be in charge are many: suppression of immune system, digestive disorders, muscle tension, short-term memory loss, premature coronary artery disease, heart attack, high blood pressure, increased risk of heart attack or stroke, and other results like disrupted work, strained relationships, decreased functioning in daily life. 

Here’s a bit of wisdom, followed by a challenge:

 “If worrying about the future made life better maybe I could see the point.  But all it does is make today worse.” 

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

This is a true story of hospitality.  In 2010 Terry and I prepared to go to Costa Rica to learn Spanish at the Costa Rica Spanish Institute.  We arrived at the Atlanta airport ready to begin our journey only to discover Terry had brought old passports.  The airline employee who had been starting to check us in told us we had time to go back and get them.  Not so!  The current ones were of course at home in Chattanooga, a two hour drive at best and we had come on the shuttle.  We had no vehicle.

We went home, having booked the same flight for the next day.  I called the Institute to tell them of our delay and were told they would inform the host family. 

The next day we arrived in Atlanta with the correct passports.  We flew to Costa Rica and then rode a bus for four hours to our destination, arriving well after dark.  We looked for our host family.  There was no one.  We were in a place we didn’t know and didn’t speak the language.  It appeared we were in a “sketchy” part of town, adding to the sense of anxiety. 

One taxi stopped.  He didn’t speak English. We showed him the address we had for our host family.  He just drove off.  We had a telephone number but saw no pay phones.  We had our cell phones but no international plan and had no idea how to reach the family we were intended to stay with. 

Another taxi stopped and drove off without us.  We had traveled all day long and were very weary.  I don’t recall praying but I must have.  Suddenly a car pulled up and the American driver said “Do you need help?”  Yes!  Do we ever!  We showed him our card with contact information.  He called the family.  They had not gotten the message about the change in our arrival.  The staff at the institute had left the message with the young teenage son who failed to relay it to his mother.  Our “new best friend” knew where the family’s home was located and drove us there.  We were welcomed and at last were bedded down for the night after our long and stressful trek.

I considered that we were rescued by an Earth Angel, a fellow who had come from America to settle in Costa Rica twelve years before.  That he arrived just when we needed him is still a miracle to me.  This is a powerful reminder of the impact one act of kindness, one bit of hospitality, can have. 

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate