Tag: Memories

Shared Memories

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

Having recovered enough from losing the blog that erased just as I was poised to post, I offer the “ New & Improved” version!

Intending to continue thoughts from last week’s blog, I was “derailed,” as can easily happen,  by a recent event.  When I received  a phone call  shortly after New Year’s from my childhood friend Milli’s husband, I learned that Milli had died in the fall.    To deal with his grief Alex began to write a memoir which led to a series of calls with me to confirm details of some of the things Milli had shared with him about our friendship as we were growing up.  This opened up an ongoing dialogue in which we have both had the opportunity to reminisce about the dear soul whose death is a shared loss for the many who loved her. 

In the intervening day since I lost the original blog, I came across another story of shared loss.  Michael J. Fox was at a book signing.  Many people came bringing “Back to the Future” posters or other memorabilia for him to autograph.  But one young woman approached him tentatively.  She told him she and her father had both loved the movie and made it an annual event they shared to watch it again.  In his final months of life, when he wasn’t able to do much else, they often sat watching the movie, appreciating both the experience of this mutual bond, and also the escape it offered for a few hours from the reality of his impending death.  She asked if Michael would write on her poster a special message to her recently deceased father.  Michael was very touched and reflected in silence for a bit before taking up his pen to write “To the father who taught his daughter what time travel is really about.”  She teared up and Michael reached out to squeeze her hand before she turned to go.

“Sharing memories is not only a good way to debrief and reminisce, we’re beginning to realise the process plays an important role in children’s psychological development and protects our memories as we advance in age,” advise Amanda Barnier and Penny VanBergen in  “ ’Remember When We…’  Why Sharing Memories is Soul Food” (The Conversation, posted December 23. 2014).

We are wise to heed this advice, sharing, even recording, memories through the years, for the enriching benefits the sharing of memories offers us. 

The invitation is open to share “two cups of tea” anytime at Hope’s Café, or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

Trees

As we have been sheltering in place, I have been especially grateful to live in the midst of trees; not just any trees, but the trees that have surrounded us for nearly 30 years.  They feel like old friends, knowing family stories, holding our history in their roots.   Terry grew up on this land.  I can close my eyes and imagine him scampering around the woods, doing chores on the farm, hiking White Oak Mountain up against which our home is built.

These sturdy companions harbor so many memories:

Arbor Day in 1991, daughter Jenna brought home an Ash tree seedling when we were just in the process of building our home here.  Terry showed her how to plant the tree and she followed the instructions with the result that the tree has matured over the years.  Other Ashes have been birthed from the seedlings of her Ash. 

When we built the house, Terry was adamant that we preserve the trees, taking down only those absolutely necessary for the construction of our home.  I have a memory of walking with him in the woods when he pointed out a particular tree (out of hundreds on the property) and said with such devotion and in absolute sincerity, “This is my favorite tree.” He seems to know them intimately.

Years ago, with our woods as witness, Terry and I stood surrounded by friends and celebrated our tenth anniversary with a ceremony renewing our vows.

These staunch sentinels also stand as the silent caretakers of the pets who have crossed “the rainbow bridge,” sheltering the animals laid to rest beneath their protective branches.

So embedded were our woods in Jenna’s consciousness that when she went off to college in Texas, she called home a bit distressed: “They don’t have any trees here!”  Indeed, they do seem to invade our spirits, even inspiring poets.

Here is a favorite I discovered by Michael S. Glaser*, titled “The Presence of Trees”:

I have always felt the living presence
of trees

the forest that calls to me as deeply
as I breathe,

as though the woods were marrow of my bone
as though

I myself were tree, a breathing, reaching
arc of the larger canopy

beside a brook bubbling to foam
like the one

deep in these woods,
that calls

that whispers home

*Glaser was Poet Laureate of Maryland 2004-2009

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.

          Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus: Take a picnic out amongst some trees.  For an easy and elegant dessert, cut the top off a strawberry, put it on a skewer, add a bite size brownie, a marshmallow and a second strawberry with the top cut off.  Repeat for the number of skewers you want to take to the picnic.  Lightly drizzle with chocolate or take some chocolate dip to the picnic if you like.  Enjoy the trees and the treats!