Chain of Gratitude

(Please note:  Somehow the quote last week about setbacks did not actually come through when published.  It was: “Giving up on a goal is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat.”

And the blog previous to that included a quote attributed to Albert Camus.  I discovered the only sentence that he actually wrote was: “In the depth of winter I finally learned that there lay within me an invincible summer.”  Whie the rest was quite lovely, some anonymous person elaborated. My apologies for both lapses in my postings.)

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

A dear friend sent me a piece from the New York Times by Melissa Kirsch describing Kirsch’s gratitude practice.  Looking to find a fresh approach to the acknowledgement of gratitude, she developed what she calls a “chain of gratitude.”  In this gratitude practice, I might give thanks for the fresh cup of coffee I am holding and think of all that went into the making of that coffee, the process that got it to the grocery store, the fact that I had the money to purchase it, the opportunities I’ve had to share a cup with my spouse, with friends.  The cup itself reminds me that it was the gift from a friend. I think of all the ways she has been a kind companion through life’s journey. 

Tracing a gratitude back to its origin and then forward, I could give thanks for the gift of writing, I could recall how I was encouraged from a young age.  I began to show an interest in writing in the fourth grade when some poetry was introduced to us in school.  My parents affirmed my early efforts.  My father, a printer on the newspaper, brought home end rolls of printer paper on which I began to write stories.  My sixth grade teacher would allow me to read my stories to the class.  She encouraged the class when we expressed a desire to start a school newspaper and helped us through that process.  She became a mentor throughout my life. 

In high school I became editor of the school newspaper and throughout college I worked for public relations departments and school newspapers.  Along the way I had honorable mention in a story contest and a poem published. At a church where I was a member I offered to write a column for the newsletter.  One friend there suggested I should write a book of devotionals.  I lived with that thought for years and eventually wrote one.  But I knew nothing about publishing.  As I was sitting next to a friend at a dinner for chaplains, I suddenly recalled she wrote for a magazine.  I asked her if she might have any suggestions for where I might send my book for consideration.  Yes, she did! The group she wrote for was just starting to publish books.  I went home, sent my proposal to them and heard back the next day! 

Along the way I have had writer friends who have encouraged me.  This chain of gratitude seems endless and includes the very people who are reading this.  I often feel I should give this blog up because I don’t feel it lives up to my standard for my best effort.  You deserve better from me, more  of my time devoted to writing it well.  But when I “make noises” like I might quit, someone will offer some response that keeps me going.  Thank you so much for the time you take to read my posts!  I am grateful for you!

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

ASD

When I was in college I wrote a paper on autism for a sociology class. I took some ribbing from my friends because they asked “Is that really a problem?” I replied “Well, it would be if there were more autistic people.” Apparently, I was ahead of my time but naive. Due to improved awareness, broader diagnostic criterai and more widespread screening , we are more knowledgeable about the extent of this condition.

Autism is defined as ” a neurodevelopmental disorder associated with symptoms that include “persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts” and “restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities.”  

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the prevalence of autism specturm disorder (ASD) in the United States is estimated to be one in 31 children in the United States diagnosed by age eight and one in 45 adults. There are now therapists who specialize in autism. Support groups are available. The school system in the small routine Montana town from which I recently moved had special accomodations for children with autism and ADHD, little rooms for emotional regulation when emotions seemed too big, chairs that allowed for movement.

The five common signs of autism include difficulties with social interaction, communication challenges, repetitive behaviors, sensory sensitivities and intense or unusual interests. Although “on the spectrum” is bandied about rather casually now, there are five diagnoses within the category, four rather severe to include Rett syndrome, childhood disintegrative disorder, Kanner’s syndrome and pervasive developmental disorder. The higher functioning autism was formerly called Aspberger’s syndrome. All can vary in how they manifest themselves in an individual and in their severity.

It is no coincidence that I address this issue as we are currently with our grandchildren, including our oldest who was diagnosed last year with ADHD and high functioning autism. He started “flapping” at age 2, flapping his arms, one of the noticeable repetetive behaviors. But in so many ways he seemed to be developing normally that it was easy to rationalize that it was simply “being two.” Over time, however, he has demonstrated repetitive behaviors that are offputting to other children in particular, making very strange faces, sniffing people. Yet he is a bright child, a kind, gentle soul, a great big brother to his two younger siblings. He is affectionate. He interacts, makes friends. In many ways he would be indistinguishable in his behavior from other children his age. He has benefitted greatly from social skills training, one of several treatment modalities.

In some ways this serves as a followup to last week’s blog on “Outside the Box.” We live in such a diverse world. How much better we are when we open ourselves to understanding the diverse people who live in it.

“Autism is not a processing error. It is a different operating system.” Sarah Hendrickx

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate