Some random thoughts have rattled around in my brain this week, based partly on the 77-year marriage of Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, so recently brought to an end by Rosalynn’s death, and partly on an interview with Tom Hanks that I read. I suspect when the Carters pledged their vows “till death do us part” that they had little expectation of a marriage lasting 77 years. Life expectancy in 1946 when they married was 66.4. She was 19 at the time. He was 21. At the outside, they might have hoped to make it to celebrate their golden anniversary.
Tom Hanks, himself in a stable marriage of 35 years, remarkable for Hollywood, spoke in the interview about a different kind of union. “I was in a movie called Cloud Atlas that went right over everybody’s head,” he said. ‘What is the point of trying to do the right thing when it is just a drop in the ocean?’ But what is an ocean but a multitude of drops? Things get better when a multitude of drops form an ocean and sweep things away.
“World War II,” he elaborated: “the Nazis were defeated, as was the Japanese empire, because enough good people said no. Civil rights came about because of, I think, an American belief that our responsibility as citizens is to work toward making a more perfect union.”
Whether the issue is our responsibility in a marriage to work together with our spouses or our responsibility as citizens to cooperate for the good of all, the dynamics are much the same. We do not get our way all the time. We recognize and respect that give and take is necessary; that people totally different from one another can find ways to seek common ground; that power and control inevitably lead to unnecessary struggles. As one would cultivate the soil to enhance one’s garden, cultivating cooperation is good for society’s soil…and its soul.
May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate “
At the time of Rosalynn’s death, Jimmy Carter said:
“Rosalynn was my equal partner in everything I ever accomplished. She gave me wise guidance and encouragement when I needed it. As long as Rosalynn was in the world, I always knew somebody loved and supported me.”
Hope's Cafe 
Thank you for the reminder of these examples of a long, faithful life of love and service the Carters and Hanks have provided us. I like the saying of Jesus that those who on the “day of judgement” are ushered into heaven for taking in strangers, visiting the sick and imprisoned, and the simple act of giving a cup of cold water to another. The Carters especially showed that they understood this principle with their love for each other and their work with Habitat for Humanity.
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Thanks, Kate, for your good words, which serve to plant a seed in our societal garden that may help to promote greater interpersonal understanding and cooperation.
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I feel like the last time the citizens of the US all worked together for the common good was in the aftermath of 9/11. What a sad commentary this is. Now our political scene is “party” first.
As for the Carters, what a wonderful tribute to Rosalynn, all summed up in that one quote.
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