The Dog Ate My Homework

It’s my daughter’s fault.  In my estimation, my daughter is very nearly a gourmet cook. When she and her family visited last January, my daughter was horrified at the state of our knives.  Since Terry does the majority of the cooking in this household, I decided to give him a set of really good knives.  For supper last night he was going to make us chef salads with leftover ham and turkey we had.  Using one of the very new, very sharp knives, he took a chunk of his left index finger along with a slice of ham The kitchen took on the appearance of a grisly murder scene.

It quickly became apparent that a trip to the emergency room was in order.  I’m very thankful for the care we have received at the clinic and the ER.  But last night, despite Terry’s being the only patient, everything moved verrrrrry sloooooooooooowly.  In the haste to get to the hospital, I had not thought to take my computer with me to get my blog written.  When we finally returned home, Terry all stitched up, I was tired and past caring whether I was timely in my post.

So there you have it: “The Dog Ate My Homework. It’s Not My Fault.”  Despite my tongue-in-cheek approach, blame is a serious problem.  We seem to learn blame early in our families and carry it into our adult lives and relationships.  But some of the most egregious effects of blame are visible in our societies.  Think of the holocaust and the millions of Jews and other “undesirables” exterminated.  Think of the migrants at our borders and the accusations against them as rapists and murderers, drug dealers. Think of the current wars occurring in the Middle East and between Russia and Ukraine.

Consider this analysis from anthropologist Marvin Harris, who, in a discussion of witchcraft accusations from the 15th through 17th centuries in Northern Europe, argued that “vilification of this sort is an attempt to distract the broader population from the implications of disturbing social changes and, more specifically, from the corruption and incompetence of leaders. During this time in Europe, perhaps 500,000 people were accused and murdered for being witches. Typically, the victims were poor, old, female, and otherwise discreditable. They died so that others would not have to contemplate directly the vast changes of modernization that were happening around them.” — from Psychology Today, May 18,2020 issue, article by Dr. Thomas Hendricks

We as individuals may feel little within ourselves to influence society’s ills.  But we can take responsibility for our own behavior and pay attention when our own tendency is to blame.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate 

Hope’s Café Bonus:  Ironically, I write this as Terry is listening to a story that is full of news items that involve one party blaming another. 

A book worth reading on this topic is The Anatomy of Peace from the Arbinger Institute