Fueled by Adversity

Recently the Billings Gazette featured the story of a young woman who had been enjoying athletic endeavors in high school volleyball and basketball.  During a basketball game, she experienced a knee twisting awkwardly, bones sliding past each other and her ACL snapping.  In the difficult time that followed, a quote from Virginia head men’s basketball coach Tony Bennett, helped her move through it: “If you learn to use it right, the adversity, it will buy you a ticket to a place you couldn’t have gone any other way.”

Since the night of her accident, she has undergone five knee surgeries.  But she persisted in her recovery and is in her third season as a Montana State track and field athlete after two years with the Montana track and women’s basketball programs.  She has just won the pentathalon at the Big Sky Indoor Track and Field Championships, earning a gold medal for herself.

An article in May 2020 edition of Forbes magazine titled “How Adversity Makes You Stronger,” reports five ways in which past struggles help us become more resilient.  We can become more empathic.  Difficulties can trigger post-traumatic growth.  You heard that right.  A term that came into use in 2013, post-traumatic growth describes the psychological change that some people experience following a crisis or traumatic event. 

We can develop self-efficacy, the confidence in ourselves to overcome obstacles and challenges. We are more prone to see the good in difficult situations.  The magazine article described that “Finding the upside to an adversity changes the way people cope – they look for social support, report more hope for the future and have a healthier physical response to stress.” Additionally, difficulties can help us reframe stress as a challenge instead of a threat. 

I recall a dream I had some years ago.  I was driving as night fell, in a rainstorm in an old van we owned at the time.  The motor gave out and I coasted to the side of the road.  I clearly remember the scene and the question in my mind of “What do I do now?”  Immediately I thought “Well, I will just figure it out.”  When we discovered we were defrauded, I felt in my core we would get through it.  When Terry broke his back in April of 2017, while he was still in the hospital, I ordered plane tickets for Austria in July, where we were due to vacation with our daughter and son-in-law and grandson.  I did, of course, buy travel insurance.  But at the same time, I was sure we would go, and we did. (Terry did require a bit of hydrocodone from time to time!)

I really don’t know just how that bedrock faith evolved, that I will get through whatever difficulty.  I just know that such faith has allowed me to persist when it might have been easier to give in to despair.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:  One of my favorite quotes is: “Things tend to turn out best for people who make the best of how things turn out.”