Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café
“Billy Joel told us ‘Only the good die young.’ All I know is only the young die young. The rest of us, if we are lucky, live with all the benefits and burdens that come with aging.” So wrote columnist Jeff Mullin in the local paper of the town where I was visiting recently.
Mullin’s intention was to challenge youth not to take their health, abilities, opportunities for granted and to remind the rest of us to make the most of the benefits of growing older.
Perhaps ‘benefits’ and ‘aging” in the same sentence seem an oxymoron. Our society shamelessly promotes youth as the standard for us all. The advertising is ubiquitous in homes which now have televisions (plural) and restaurants which now plaster them on every wall. But even in “the old days”—such a rich pun that is—before the onslaught of media, I recall my mother and her friends joking about “holding at 39” when their birthdays came around. To me as a child that joking veiled a subtler message that aging was an unwelcome fact. And why not ‘unwelcome’? From what I could tell getting older brought with it some discomforting terms like ‘glaucoma’ and ‘rheumatism’ and the necessity of things like hearing aids and canes and a plethora of pills and potions.
Now well beyond the ‘39’ benchmark myself, and in possession of said ‘hearing aids and canes and a plethora of pills and potions,’ I recognize both the ‘benefits and burdens’ of which Mullin spoke. I am so much slower, cautious in my movements to avoid falls since an extensive back surgery. I see people with much more difficult physical circumstances and those with other challenges such as caring for a terminally ill spouse or parent.
It would seem then, that living into senior citizenship, aka “growing old,” requires acknowledging the reality of one’s circumstances and making use of what skills we have gained over a lifetime, having learned we can address problems with more equanimity and even humor. Burdens and benefits are two sides of the same coin. If we allow ourselves to perceive it, we can recognize the benefit within the burden. As Jonathan Living Seagull wrote: “No problem comes to you without a gift in its hands.”
The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.
May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate
Hope’s Café Bonus: Unattributed quotes
“Age is not a number—it’s a collection of stories, lessons, and moments that make you richer than gold.”
“Growing older is like tending a garden—you bloom differently, but your roots grow stronger.”
“With age comes the freedom to live life on your own terms, without apology.”
