Small Town Living

              I grew up in a small Oklahoma town, about 9500 population.  Until now, that was the smallest town I had ever lived in.  My new home isn’t quite 2,000.  Some folks who have seen my photos on Facebook have commented that it looks like we live in “Mayberry,” that we seem to have stepped back in time. 

              There is a sense in which this experience does indeed feel like we have entered a time machine.  As a kid, I walked everywhere or rode my bike.  Growing up, Main Street was the focus of the town. Little shops lined the streets.  Lew’s Drug boasted a soda fountain along with medicines and merchandise.  Link’s Drug, the competition, was across the street.    Security Bank where my mother worked was on one corner.  The National Bank was one block down.   The town was on the Chikaskia River, a tributary that eventually becomes part of the Mississippi River.

              In my new home, I can easily reach on foot any place in town I want or need to go.  Main Street is a central “shopping district,” so to speak, where one can peruse little shops, go to the bank or the florist or the auto parts store.  Sadly, the drug stores with soda fountains have mostly disappeared from American culture.  But we do have a Whistle Stop Café and a Chinese restaurant.  And our town is right on the Yellowstone River, a tributary of the Missouri River.

              Here is the pivotal difference in the two experiences:  Growing up, I knew or knew of most of the folks living there.  When I was downtown, inevitably I encountered people with whom I was familiar.  In my new home, I am perpetually aware that I am a newcomer.  People are friendly enough, but I am an outsider.  I met with two pastors of nearby Congregational churches, one of whom I was meeting for the first time.  She asked where I was from.  When I replied “Tennessee,” the other pastor gently teased, “Can’t you tell when she opens her mouth? That lovely accent!” (I am thinking, “What accent??”)

              So as we move on from our known experience to the unfamiliar, we can be certain that change will bring some discomfort.  I am enjoying so many aspects of my new life.  But I don’t like being “the new kid on the block,” aware that other people have deep roots and longtime connections here. I am challenged to consider these folks “ friends I just haven’t met yet”  and  reminded of the old adage “to have a friend, one must be a friend.”

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus: “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet.”—William Butler Yeats        *        “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ministry

On this day of most unexpected experiences, I got a somewhat cryptic message from someone unknown to me at a sister church.  They had sponsored two young men associated with “sunpedal.”  These men were going to be coming through our town tonight and she said if I wanted to meet them she could give them my phone number.  I asked for more details.  Were they hoping for a meal? Shelter?  She said their church had paid for a night at the motel and fed them a meal. 

To be truthful, I was tired and not inclined.  But as I considered what to do, I got another text where she gave me their contact info.  I overcame my hesitation and texted them.  By the time I did, I discovered not only had they just arrived but they arrived hungry and stopped at a Chinese restaurant downtown. I received their text just as I was walking by that restaurant.   I went in and visited with them, learned about the efforts of their organization to educate people about sustainable energy.  They have been on a four- month journey riding their bikes across the United States seeking to encourage people along the way to support sustainable energy.  They were delightful.  I had consulted with mission committee and told them the church would pay for their night they had booked at Riverside Cabins.  I offered them dinner later if they weren’t too tired. 

I had only just returned to the church, when the phone rang from an area code outside Montana.  On the other end of the line was a rather frantic mother.  Her son Gavin had gone hunting in this region.  He was caught unawares by the snow and the intense wind.  His truck was stuck.  His efforts to dig it out had been thwarted by the wind whipping the snow right back on his truck. He was trapped by five- foot snow drifts that needed to be plowed for him to get out.  She didn’t know exactly where he was but knew it was in this area.

As luck would have it, we have a church member who has a tow truck and I called him.  Before I could describe the dilemma, he told me he had already talked with this young man, He had pinpointed where Gavin was located, unfortunately 18 miles from any paved road and 15 miles from the forest service station.  But the church member’s tow truck doesn’t have four- wheel drive.  He had given Gavin the number of a towing company in another nearby town.  I called Gavin to see what progress he had made.  The other company had their truck in the shop for maintenance.  I suggested he call the sheriff of the county where he is stranded.  He said someone must have called search and rescue because the sheriff had called him.  He supposed someone would come.  He assured me he had extra clothes and food and water. 

I told him I had promised his mother I would call her back, which I proceeded to do.  She talked with me for some time in a manner I recognized.  When I am under stress and there is some kind soul with a sympathetic ear, I just begin sharing all kinds of things about my life.  I learned all about her work cleaning houses; how she considers it a ministry; how she has assisted clients to get into assisted living when they are no longer able to live in their homes.  She told me about her son, how he is a skilled hunter but had never hunted in this area.  She asked me to pray for him.

Ministry happens in most unexpected and unpredictable ways.  I pray to always be open to the unexpected.  And I pray for Gavin’s safety and rescue on this bitter cold and windy night.

Hope’s Café Bonus:
God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3 New International Version

Possessions, Priorities, Proportion

This Sunday I will be preaching on priorities, based on the story of the “rich young ruler.”  He seeks Jesus out to find what else he could be doing in his quest for “eternal life,”beyond the commandments he has already been living out.  Jesus really throws him a curve:  sell all you have and give it to the poor and come follow me.  Oops!  No further conversation is recorded but one might imagine his protesting “No, I was looking for something practical, something a little less stringent.  I mean I have a lot of possessions.  Surely you don’t mean ALL of my riches.”  Perhaps Jesus would have regarded him with compassion but said nothing in reply, leaving the young man to contemplate his life and his willingness to enlarge his understanding beyond “living by the rules.”

              Having just gone through the experience of divesting ourselves of our home and land, I am aware of an aspect of this that the young ruler couldn’t seem to grasp: the great relief of letting go.  We are renting and down to one vehicle.  We look at property to buy.  We consider a second vehicle.  But I recognize, even as we do so, a sense of hesitation.  We seem more and more content to live in our current circumstances.  Given that we have moved to snow country, we likely will purchase a four -wheel drive vehicle soon.  But this feels like a purchase of necessity and not of desire.   As I contemplate how we use our resources, I hope to consider future spending more thoughtfully.  I am reminded of Richard Foster’s guidelines for simplicity:

  1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status
  2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you
  3. Develop a habit of giving things away
  4. Refuse to be propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgetry
  5. Learn to enjoy things without owning them
  6. Develop a deeper appreciation for the creation
  7. Look with a healthy skepticism at all “buy now, pay later” schemes
  8. Obey Jesus’ instructions about plain, honest speech
  9. Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others
  10. Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:  Check out this site with article “7 ways to unstuff” https://simplelivingworks.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/yes-magazines-7-ways-to-unstuff/#:~:text=YES!%20Magazine%E2%80%99s%207%20Ways%20to%C2%A0UnStuff

Shadows

I don’t recall what triggered my thinking about shadows recently.  Perhaps it was the memory of a year ago when we were in Maryland helping care for our grandsons.  I clearly remember sometimes when we were swinging at the playground when the sun was just right, we would see our shadows.  Our five year-old grandson Sebastian was especially intrigued by them.

         But I also thought about Carl Jung’s philosophy about “the shadow side,” those things we consider unacceptable about ourselves and seek to avoid recognizing.  In 1938 Jung wrote:

         “ Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be.

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.

If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it.

Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications.

But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.”

Psychology and Religion (1938)

          Of course, writers of books, television series and movies have often used light and dark to illustrate good and evil, shadow to indicate evil lurking. The Bible talks about shadow as well, suggesting God’s protection

I learned from one website that “Tzelem” is related to the word “Tzel צל”, which is the modern-day Hebrew word for “shadow”. This gives us a deeper understanding of “btzalmenu”, which means “in our shadow.” We were created in the shadow of God!”

  So the term ‘shadow” can have positive or negative connotations, depending on the context.  But I tend to think Jung was onto something because he emphasized that this shadow side also contained “gold,” meaning as we delve into the shadow self we can learn and grow, no longer needing to disown parts of ourselves. 

          Perhaps the fascination with shadows when we are children is that we appear so much larger than we feel when we are small, not unlike Jung’s tenet that we become so much greater when we own all the pieces that make up who we are.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:

Friendship

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.— Henri Nouwen

IN APRIL 1998, TERRY GAVE A KIDNEY TO HIS SISTER CONNIE, ATTEMPTING TO SAVE HER FROM POLYCYSTIC KIDNEY DISEASE.   THE OPERATION WAS A SUCCESS AND BOTH TERRY AND CONNIE WERE INTIALLY DOING WELL.  BUT SILENTLY A STAPH INFECTION ATE THROUGH THE ARTERY INTO CONNIE’S  KIDNEY AND SHE DIED WITHIN A FEW WEEKS OF THE SURGERY. 

              MY FRIEND ELAINE CALLED ME WHEN SHE HEARD OF THE DEATH.  “IS THERE ANYTHING I CANDO FOR YOU?” SHE ASKED.  “OH, ELAINE,” I SAID, “PLEASE BAKE US A LOAF OF BREAD.”  NOW FOODWAS THE FARTHEST THING FROM MY MIND AT THAT MOMENT.  WHAT I WANTED WAS THE IMAGE OF ELAINE, KNOWN FOR HER BREAD BAKING AND HERB GROWING, KNEADING THAT BREAD, PUTTING SOMUCH LOVE FOR TERRY AND ME INTO THAT LOAF—-THEGRACIOUS OFFERING SHE WOULD MAKE FOR OUR COMFORT.

              IN JULY 2009, MY PRECIOUS FATHER WAS DYING.  MY FRIEND ANN CALLED ME AND SAID “IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?”  AND I SAID “OH, ANN, WOULD YOU BRING ME A CINNAMON CRUSTED BAGEL AND A CUP OF HAZELNUT COFFEE FROM PANERA’S?”  IN THIS CASE I WAS THINKING ABOUT FOOD—-I WANTED THE SWEET TASTE OF THAT BAGEL AND THE WARMTH OF THAT COFFEE  TO INFUSE NOT JUST MY TASTEBUDS BUT MY SPIRIT, COMFORT FOOD.  EVEN MORE THAN THAT I WAS COMFORTED IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT AT THAT MOMENT ANN WOULD HAVE MOVED HEAVEN AND EARTH IF NECESSARY TO BRING ME THAT BAGEL AND COFFEE—OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT I HAD ASKED.  AS I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE THE FATHER WHO WOULD HAVE MOVED HEAVEN AND EARTH FOR ME, I WAS BEING SUPPORTED BY A FRIEND WHO WOULD DO THE SAME.

AND THOUGH I SPEAK OF FRIENDSHIP IN TIMES OF GRIEF, THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE SAID FOR THE PLEASURES OF FRIENDSHIP DURING GOOD TIMES.    I HAVE SHARED COUNTLESS CUPS OF TEA AND ENDLESS CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FRIEND DIANE.  I HAVE MET UP WITH MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIENDS FOR REUNIONS WHERE WE GABBED LATE INTO THE NIGHT.  I SHLEPPED MY PORTABLE SEWING MACHINE FROM TENNESSEE TO NORTH CAROLINA MULTIPLE TIMES WHERE MY FRIEND MARY HELPED ME CONSTRUCT T-SHIRT QUILTS.  I COULD GO ON.  SO MANY FRIENDS. SO MANY GOOD TIMES.

              YOU MAY NOTICE THAT NONE OF THESE ACTIVITIES WERE ELABORATE.  FRIENDSHIP ALLOWSFOR THE SIMPLEST THINGS TO BE SO SATISFYING.  WHAT A BLESSING.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

HOPE’S CAFÉ BONUS:  TWO QUOTES I FOUND THAT I ESPECIALLY LOVED: “She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.— Toni Morrison

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” —-Albert Schweitzer
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/friendship-quotes

Discoveries

              “You will enrich your life immeasurably if you approach it with a sense of wonder and discovery, and always challenge yourself to try new things.” — Nate Berkus

            This week Terry and I impulsively headed out of town to a favorite restaurant only to learn the establishment was not open that day.  So we explored the little town and found a restaurant where we had never dined before.  We had a delightful conversation with the waitress, who it turned out knows one of my colleagues. 

            Later that evening we headed in a different direction for our typical evening walk.  We discovered a beautiful path that parallels the Yellowstone River.  Along the path, someone had planted what they named “The Garden of Eatin’”   The owners of the property had placed a bench facing the river, with a sign that read;  “Sit down awhile, enjoy the view. It’s God’s gift to me and you.” 

            How dull life would be if we never ventured beyond our usual haunts.   Sometimes what propels us to expand our horizons are events that we didn’t welcome.  In my own life, I recognize several such events,  One Sunday afternoon in May 2008, I felt compelled to call my friend Susan, who headed bereavement at a local hospice.  I asked if she had any openings where I might work.  This made absolutely no sense to me.  I’d never had any desire to work in hospice.  But only a few weeks later we found we had been defrauded in our business and I would need the income that position provided.  But, what a discovery!  I loved working in hospice as a bereavement counselor.

            In 2010, hospice cut all the part time positions and I lost my cherished job.  But that led to my training in ministry, where I encountered a new path,  And only this spring, in a totally unexpected turn of events, we sold our home and moved far from home to Montana.  Now, after filling several part time and temporary positions, here I have assumed my first role in a settled (what was formerly called permanent) pastorate. 

            There is a lot to be said for the familiar.  But, if you find yourself yearning for a little something different, or, by circumstance are forced to make a change, add some spice with a foray into something new.  You just might “enrich your life immeasurably!”

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:  So maybe doing something as dramatic as selling your home and moving to someplace you never expected to go, is a bridge too far for you.  Just vary your routine a bit.  try a food you’ve never eaten; take up a new hobby; make a bucket list of potential adventures.  Wishing you blessings on anything you choose to undertake. 

Discombobulation


“Discombobulate, meaning “to confuse, frustrate,” sounds like something straight out of a cartoon. It was first recorded in the form discomboberate in the early 1800s, and apparently originated as a humorous imitation of hifalutin-sounding Latin words.”—vocabulary.com

In the midst of getting belongings settled in our new apartment and also getting my office organized and beginning my duties, I lost (misplaced?) the set of church keys I had just been given the previous week.  The same morning I discovered the keys missing, when I got in the car headed to an appointment with a new chiropractor, a message read “Braking system problem!  See a dealer immediately!”  I totally lost my emotional center!  I was “discombobulated!” At the chiropractor appointment, my blood pressure, which normally is fine, had shot up.  I couldn’t seem to focus to fill out the forms.  In one place where I was to sign and date, I signed and started to put my post office box number!  I dated things incorrectly.  You get the picture.

I stayed agitated overnight.  Finally, in an effort to get hold of myself, I thought about what was really going on.  Keys can be replaced.  I realized I was really upset about feeling I had embarrassed myself. I considered that this reflected poorly on me.  What kind of confidence was I inspiring in my congregation when I immediately lost the keys?

So I went to the office where I forced myself to sit and focus on a daily reading that I do.  Then I randomly opened a book I have had for a long time but never read.  The chapter I opened to was based on a gospel story where Jesus encountered the man “Legion” (meaning many), who in current terms we would describe as mentally ill.  His behavior was so disruptive that the villagers had tried to restrain him with chains from which he repeatedly broke free.  One point the author made was about how fragmented we sometimes become.  One of the discussion questions was: “What would your life be like if you were in your right mind?” 

When I am “in my right mind,” I am either aware of all my blessings or I can fairly easily call to mind all that for which I am grateful.  And there is so much! Just at the moment I am so very much relieved that our “stateside” son-in-law (not the “overseas” son-in-law) came through his heart surgery this week with flying colors! (Of course, this also was a part of my “discombobulation.”) So my heart is full and I give thanks.

 May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:  From Michael J. Fox, who has been dealing with Parkinson’s disease for 30 years:  “Optimism is really rooted in gratitude.  Optimism is sustainable when you keep coming back to gratitude, and what follows from that is acceptance.”

Standing In The Gap

Our drive from Tennessee to relocate in Montana was mostly uneventful, at least until we reached western Wyoming.  In the middle of nowhere we witnessed a trucker lose control of his 18 wheeler.  He careened off the road, his tires plowing through the ground.  Clouds of dust billowed around the truck, obstructing our view.  We had pulled off the road, both to spare ourselves being in his path should he hurtle back onto the highway, and to be available to check on him when that became possible.

When the truck came to a stop, thankfully without reentering the highway, we went across the road to assess the situation.  The driver was badly injured but still conscious. We learned his name was John and he was hauling a load of vodka and margarita mix, which was now leaking out the back.  While awaiting the ambulance with him, Terry turned off the truck and assisted in retrieving John’s cell phone, which John used to make the dreaded report to his boss.  Cursing with every breath, his back surely broken, he groaned with pain.  With every curse he uttered, I breathed a prayer for him, that the ambulance would come soon and that he would receive the help he needed.  I quickly posted on Facebook asking for prayers for him.

In Ezekiel 22:30 the prophet writes that the Lord says “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land.”  In the ancient world of the Bible, cities had walls surrounding them to provide protection from enemies.  When the wall was breached, the city was vulnerable to destruction; the only way to secure it was for people to risk their lives by literally standing in the gap in the wall and fighting the enemy. 

When we pray on behalf of someone else we are “standing in the gap” for that person before God.  It is a privilege to do so.  And so I continue to stand in the gap for John.  We are encouraged to do so in Galatians 6:2, which directs us to “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”  I invite you to join me in praying for John, as well as for others who cross your path on this road we travel together. 

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:  Prayers for the energy of healing, for sustenance and restoration of John and others in need.

Hiatus

Even things that go on for a long time take a break once in awhile:  one kind of break is a hiatus.  If someone has to leave her job for a time, she’s going on hiatus.  A touring  band will need to take a hiatus if the lead singer gets in an accident.  The key thing about a hiatus is that it’s an interruption of something that was happening, but it’s not a permanent break.  (vocabulary.com)

            Hiatus comes from “hiare,” a Latin verb meaning “to gape” or “to yawn,” and first appeared in English in the middle of the 16th century. Originally, the word referred to a gap or opening in something, such as a cave opening in a cliff. In the 18th century, Laurence Sterne used the word humorously in his novel Tristram Shandy, writing of “the hiatus in Phutatorius’s breeches.” These days, “hiatus” is usually used in a temporal sense to refer to a pause or interruption (as in a song), or a period during which an activity is temporarily suspended (such as a hiatus from teaching). (Miriam-Webster)

          All this goes to say that I am taking a hiatus from Hope’s Café for six weeks while I am in the process of moving from Tennessee to Montana.  Why Montana, you might ask.  The answer is that I have accepted the pastorate of Columbus Community Congregational Church UCC in Columbus, Montana.  We are leaving the home we built 30 years ago, the farm my husband grew up on, land that has been in his family four generations.  Despite that we, of course, feel some sadness, we are excited about this move and about the church I will be pastoring.

          We appreciate prayers and well-wishes as we undertake this journey.  If you have found this blog uplifting, I hope you will await the return of Hope’s Café and seek it out when it resumes September 3.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus: “And suddenly you just know that it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” (pinterist.com)

Insight Timer

Today I am putting in a plug for the app “Insight Timer.”  I am not sure when this was established.  I discovered it about five years ago when I attended a session that was offered at the local Center for Mindful Living. 

There are multiple online meditation sites.  What distinguishes Insight Timer is that it is free.  I haven’t availed myself of all its features but there are thousands of guided meditations, topics offered by various speakers, as well as a timer that you can set for whatever amount of time suits you.  That feature allows you to choose from various bells to begin and end if you so desire, as well as multiple background sounds if you prefer.

The one bit of information I found from the founders indicated that they wanted to make their site free so that more people would choose to develop meditation practices.  They do have features you can pay for, which is how they can afford to do this.  But they offer a plethora of free services.

Their pie chart shows that of the major meditation apps, Insight Timer is used 62%; Calm is used 17%; Headspace is used 13%; others 7%.  It would appear they are succeeding in exposing more people to easily accessible meditation practices. If you google Insight Timer, you can see their description:

The best meditation app with the world’s largest FREE library of more than 100k guided meditations, 11k teachers & the world’s most loved meditation Timer.

‎Free Guided Meditations · ‎Live events · ‎About us · ‎Peace in our Timer

The app is easily downloaded on your phone.  Basically, it leaves me with no excuses for avoiding meditation!  I encourage you, if you haven’t discovered this amazing tool already, to make use of this valuable service.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus:

Today I am putting in a plug for the app “Insight Timer.”  I am not sure when this was established.  I discovered it about five years ago when I attended a session that was offered at the local Center for Mindful Living. 

There are multiple online meditation sites.  What distinguishes Insight Timer is that it is free.  I haven’t availed myself of all its features but there are thousands of guided meditations, topics offered by various speakers, as well as a timer that you can set for whatever amount of time suits you.  That feature allows you to choose from various bells to begin and end if you so desire, as well as multiple background sounds if you prefer.

The one bit of information I found from the founders indicated that they wanted to make their site free so that more people would choose to develop meditation practices.  They do have features you can pay for, which is how they can afford to do this.  But they offer a plethora of free services.

Their pie chart shows that of the major meditation apps, Insight Timer is used 62%; Calm is used 17%; Headspace is used 13%; others 7%.  It would appear they are succeeding in exposing more people to easily accessible meditation practices. If you google Insight Timer, you can see their description:

The best meditation app with the world’s largest FREE library of more than 100k guided meditations, 11k teachers & the world’s most loved meditation Timer.

‎Free Guided Meditations · ‎Live events · ‎About us · ‎Peace in our Timer

The app is easily downloaded on your phone.  Basically, it leaves me with no excuses for avoiding meditation!  I encourage you, if you haven’t discovered this amazing tool already, to make use of this valuable service.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” of Hope’s Café for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate

Hope’s Café Bonus: