family – Hope's Cafe

If I were going to write about family, you would think I might choose Mother’s Day, celebrated this year in the U.S. on May 10. But I have been with our grandchildren all week, trying to cover some parenting gaps in the aftermath of my daughter’s surgery last week and that has been my focus.

I always felt cheated as a kid. My paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather both died before my parents married. My two remaining grandparents were 90 miles away in Wichita, Ks. My mother had three siblings, my father had four surviving siblings (two having died in the influenza epidemic in 1918). But none of them lived closeby to provide me the connection with them or the passel of cousins I so envied others had nearby .

So I treasure these times with family, particularly with these grandchildren when I have the opportunity. I have dutifully washed clothes and dishes and kids this week, unfortunately working sick. You won’t hear me complain. I think of grandparents I worked with as a therapist who were raising their grandchildren for one reason or another (usually drug addicted parents or some other dysfunction). They were on duty 24/7 week in, week out, functioning as a parent regardless of their physical or financial challenges.

“Grandparents often act as emotional anchors, offering unconditional love and stability that helps children develop resilience and emotional well-being. Regular contact with grandparents has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in young people, especially when other sources of support are limited or strained.This reciprocal relationship also benefits grandparents, enhancing their psychological health and creating a cycle of emotional well-being across generations.” livingyourseniorlife.com.

There are dozens, probably hundreds, of quotes about grandparents. a couple of my favorites:

“The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your grandchildren.”

““Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old.” -Mary H. Waldrip

But the one that rings truest for me:

“Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us.” (I wonder why as a parent did I make such a big thing about relatively unimportant matters?)

As my mother aged she worried herself over mistakes she had made as a parent. I hope to avoid that trap and to redeem my own mistakes with these precious grandchildren .

Maybe next week’s blogs should be “Mistakes and Redemption.”

Whatever your situation with family by blood or family you create by choice with other significant people, I wish you the blessing of important connections that enrich your life.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

We live not far from Smoky Mountain National Park, the most visited national park in the United States .Nestled midst the thriving tourist sites of Gatlinburg and Dollywood is the village of Townsend, TN, billed as “The Peaceful Side of the Smokies,” for its much smaller area, quieter tempo and peaceful atmosphere. Its corollary in this holiday season would be “The Peaceful Side” of Christmas, otherwise known as Christmastide, the Twelve Days of Christmas beginning December 25 through January 5.

The weeks leading up to Christmas day are often characterized by hurrying and scurrying to prepare for Christmas celebrations. Christmastide is something of a “second chance,” an opportunity to reclaim the meaning of the season, to behave in accordance with that meaning.

Long intrigued with Boxing Day, December 26, also known as St Stephen’s Day, I thought it was a day for visiting friends and neighbors with baked goods or other gifts. Apparently it indeed has evolved where Boxing Day is another aspect of the festivities. However, Boxing Day in Britain began as an act of offering a “Christmas box,” presents or gratuities, to tradespeople and employees. An earlier tradition in Britain involved the wealthy allowing their servants off work to visit their families on the day after Christmas.

The concept of Boxing Day would seem to have originated from late Roman and early Christian eras when alms boxes were placed in the narthex of churches to collect offerings tied to the Feast of St. Stephen. The later European tradition of giving money or gifts to those in need dates to the Middle Ages.

Perhaps at our core we recognize our responsibility to one another. Admittedly, we too readily return to the busy routines of our daily lives. But if we can think of Christmastide, these twelve days, as a time to unwind from all the hubbub, maybe we can take some moments to breathe deeply, take stock and reorder our priorities. Maybe we can begin to incorporate Charles Dickens’ intention into our awareness and our behavior: “I will honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.”

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate