If I were going to write about family, you would think I might choose Mother’s Day, celebrated this year in the U.S. on May 10. But I have been with our grandchildren all week, trying to cover some parenting gaps in the aftermath of my daughter’s surgery last week and that has been my focus.
I always felt cheated as a kid. My paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather both died before my parents married. My two remaining grandparents were 90 miles away in Wichita, Ks. My mother had three siblings, my father had four surviving siblings (two having died in the influenza epidemic in 1918). But none of them lived closeby to provide me the connection with them or the passel of cousins I so envied others had nearby .
So I treasure these times with family, particularly with these grandchildren when I have the opportunity. I have dutifully washed clothes and dishes and kids this week, unfortunately working sick. You won’t hear me complain. I think of grandparents I worked with as a therapist who were raising their grandchildren for one reason or another (usually drug addicted parents or some other dysfunction). They were on duty 24/7 week in, week out, functioning as a parent regardless of their physical or financial challenges.
“Grandparents often act as emotional anchors, offering unconditional love and stability that helps children develop resilience and emotional well-being. Regular contact with grandparents has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in young people, especially when other sources of support are limited or strained.This reciprocal relationship also benefits grandparents, enhancing their psychological health and creating a cycle of emotional well-being across generations.” livingyourseniorlife.com.
There are dozens, probably hundreds, of quotes about grandparents. a couple of my favorites:
“The most precious jewels you’ll ever have around your neck are the arms of your grandchildren.”
““Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old.” -Mary H. Waldrip
But the one that rings truest for me:
“Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us.” (I wonder why as a parent did I make such a big thing about relatively unimportant matters?)
As my mother aged she worried herself over mistakes she had made as a parent. I hope to avoid that trap and to redeem my own mistakes with these precious grandchildren .
Maybe next week’s blogs should be “Mistakes and Redemption.”
Whatever your situation with family by blood or family you create by choice with other significant people, I wish you the blessing of important connections that enrich your life.
The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.
May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter. Shalom, Kate
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